From the farthest moments my memory can stretch to, there have always existed two kinds of guys: those that speak or tell jokes that always get ignored, and those who it seemed like whatever they said made people tick and adore them more.
You too must have met an endless number of both kinds of guys from elementary school all the way to college and beyond. You must know guys who are real life Jaspers and Henrys in Nickelodeon's Henry Danger.
Note: [The reactions or views people have about the popular guys have little or nothing to do with their size, age, wealth or education. C'mon, Rose preferred Jack to the other rich guy in Titanic, though Mr rich guy seemed to have it all.]
And the truth is that i've been each of these guys at some point in my brief life. In other words, I know what it's like to be the stupid unpopular nerd whose joke, announcement or opinion never mattered, as well as the smooth and iconic guy whom all was needed for something to be regarded as law, was for him to be the one saying it.
Well, I know you couldn't care less about whatever shitty successes or failures I may have experienced in my quest for being Mr-loved-by-all. What you just wanna know is how to be the alpha dude whose words gets people to straighten up their butts and do what you say.
Well here are the top secret qualities that popular guys have that make them popular and liked.
1. Develop real love of people
Humans have an instinctive ability to know when someone's got their back and has their interest at heart, and when that someone just wants something from them, notwithstanding what the person says or does. This instinct is so impressive and accurate that it'd take a super pro actor to get away with an act (which is a very daunting and risky option.) I'd rather recommend the title of this point as the best means with which to acquire people's real life upvotes.
Humans have an instinctive ability to know when someone's got their back and has their interest at heart, and when that someone just wants something from them, notwithstanding what the person says or does. This instinct is so impressive and accurate that it'd take a super pro actor to get away with an act (which is a very daunting and risky option.) I'd rather recommend the title of this point as the best means with which to acquire people's real life upvotes.
When and if people sense that the person before them loves them and has their best interests at heart, they automatically like the person back and as such, anything they represent. High income marketers and salespeople know this too well and use it everyday and so try to build rapport and connection with prospects first, before presenting their goods or services. This is a surefire strategy because majority of choices and opinions of people are influenced by the people they like: family, friends, fav celebs, mentors and role models.
Therefore, if people like you(because they believe you like them,) they are very likely to like whatever you like and have to offer.
So, to get people to see you as their fan, you've got to learn to develop real love for them. Be empathetic with them and take cognizance of their needs. Maintain pleasant and steady eye contact with them and be really generous with your smile. Mirror their moods letting them feel that you share their joys and pains.
Let your goal be to make them feel better by what you say, do or offer, and not merely to use them to gain popularity or feel better about yourself cos they'll definitely pick up your motives sooner or later, and your efforts to be liked and popular'll come crashing down like a storey high pile of earthenware plates during a magnitude 22.7 earthquake!
2. Speak with assurance and enthusiasm:
How the hell do you think people will take what you say seriously when you say it like it's the most mundane gibberish ever conceived or like you're not even sure of its authenticity?
Like people say: enthusiasm is contagious. So in addition to liking your audience, you should also say what you've gotta say like it matters.
How the hell do you think people will take what you say seriously when you say it like it's the most mundane gibberish ever conceived or like you're not even sure of its authenticity?
Like people say: enthusiasm is contagious. So in addition to liking your audience, you should also say what you've gotta say like it matters.
If your speech is muffled, inaudible and unclear, then it won't stir a hair strand in anyone.
Project your voice. Let it ring loud. Speak with your facial expressions, gestures and tone of voice because according to Albert Mehrabian (born 1939 to an
Armenian family in Iran ), currently
Professor Emeritus of Psychology,
UCLA, best known for his publications on the relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages, your words earn you only 7% of people's love or attention, while tone of voice's 38% and your body language, an earth shattering 55% of total liking.
So sound calm and solemn, with pale facial expressions when delivering sobering news while you use ebullient and excited ones for exciting news and don't worry about using the perfect words.
But whatever the mood, never let someone say " I beg your pardon" after you talk because they weren't sure what you said because you sounded like a choking Chihuahua. That's very unmanly and unattractive.
I'm not saying though that you should start exploding the eardrums of your listeners by shouting or using the aid of a megaphone. While volume is important, what really adds value to a merely high pitched speech are the feelings you as the speaker have towards what you say, which will reflect how you say it.
Make sure you only speak of something when and if it truly excites you and makes you swell with sheer zeal and not just because you think others will like it. If you feel strongly about what you're saying, speaking with contagious enthusiasm'll be as easy as floating with 0 gravity.
3. Know and say what your audience want to hear:
No matter how much your audience love you and no matter how engaging you're non verbals are, you don't expect to hold the attention of a group of preschool kids with stories about the ideal pension plan for them. A group of teens would also care less about family planning or your pretty speech on child rearing, just like a couple of toothless 99 year old grandpas should be dozing hopelessly before you even introduce your speech on tips for successfully picking up pretty high school girls!
No matter how much your audience love you and no matter how engaging you're non verbals are, you don't expect to hold the attention of a group of preschool kids with stories about the ideal pension plan for them. A group of teens would also care less about family planning or your pretty speech on child rearing, just like a couple of toothless 99 year old grandpas should be dozing hopelessly before you even introduce your speech on tips for successfully picking up pretty high school girls!
It is therefore imperative that you have a pretty informed idea of who and what your audience are at the core both as a group and individually. Then only talk about those unique interests of theirs.
But how can you tell what the other person'll like without being able to read their minds?
By being really observant and using well structured questions that are not too probing.
For new acquaintances and strangers, notice what they like to talk about, how they dress, how outgoing or reserved they are etc.
You could then ask questions about their interests and opinions, then you can have a better idea what they may wanna hear.
By being really observant and using well structured questions that are not too probing.
For new acquaintances and strangers, notice what they like to talk about, how they dress, how outgoing or reserved they are etc.
You could then ask questions about their interests and opinions, then you can have a better idea what they may wanna hear.
Another trick I use is trying to put myself in the shoes, sneaks or flip flops of my audience so as to know what would've meant much to me if I were them and then talking about that.
Hello, my name is Jack Sparrow. I'm a 50 year old self-employed Pirate from the Caribbean.
No comments:
Post a Comment
We want to hear it