Tests girls give guys and how to ace 'em!

The good old ages are past. When all a man needed in order to have any woman he desired was to have more farms than charm, use more fists than lips and have more power than intellect. Those days, if a man had these things, he had a wide array of wife choices to make. All he needed to do was filter and pick: whose dish was tastier, whose hips were wider and whose breasts were more likely to pop outta a shirt, were top on the choice list. Then also, the girls knew and bothered more about home management and baby production than they ever did about choice and love(if they ever even heard the words.) In fact, they had no say concerning who their husbands would be. It was their parents' sole responsibility. Therefore, the ugliest men in the worst sense, could easily be licensed to bear offsprings with the hottest of women!

Those days, sites like Charmmakers would be Farmmakers, and ArtofCharm may be ArtofFarm, for anyone to pay attention to what the hell you got to say.

But how quickly and completely things've changed. Now, girls have miraculously ascended the throne of royal elites, who choose the "best" among the legion of suitors that present themselves, asking for the same goddamn thing: Fusion! Now, "impress" becomes the watchword for men, and "filter" for women. That's how all the goddamn tests women formulate for men were born.

 

 They are used to filter and pick the best from the rest: whose more endowed southward, whose more likely to knockout a hulk-like enemy and whose pockets are most likely to tear quickest, from overload?

Just kidding
While the above are not impossible reasons for girls choice and tests, thankfully, they are nowhere near the top! Closer to the top may include: confidence, leadership, humour, hygiene e.t.c. This article is not chiefly for the reason(s) girls test guys, but what tests they do set along your seduction path, and how you can seamlessly ace them!

Tests Girls Give Guys and How To Ace Them!

1.Insults Test:
A girl may be insulting to you, either to test your self confidence and resillience(which is a good sign she likes you,) or because she is in a bad mood. Either way, if a girl's being bitchy to you, it's a fine chance to show your self confidence and dominance. How? In 3 ways:

a. Return the favor: No! Don't insult back. Instead, tactfully but firmly reprove her for being bitchy, while clearly showing your disapproval. A good way to do this is to infuse a tiny bit of humour in your tone. E.g, a girl tells you:

Source:123rf

 Fuck off you womanizing jerk! 

First of all, I would like to offer my heartfelt sympathies.

Then, so long as you are sure you really didn't deserve to be called a womanizing jerk, but she still called you that, you can return the favor by saying: "a lady would've been less murderous in how she expressed her feelings."
Something like this, implies that she is not a lady(returning the insult) and that it hurt, but in a less offensive and even slighty humorous tone. 

b. Inexpressive Silence: This is my fav response to a girl who is insulting to me. This works by maintaining a totally bland facial expression: neither amused nor offended, until she is forced to break the silence. The goal of this and every other counter for girls' tests is to come across as an unaffected and self assured guy, who is not affected by her actions.

c. Express amused gratitude: This counter can be extremely annoying to the the girl in question, therefore, highly effective. Perfect. It works with you giving a really genuine seeming and hearty laugh, as you thank her for the "compliment!" Act totally like she gave you a huge compliment, and like you were totally not hurt by her verbal grenade(though you may be dying within.) Your "amusement" should seem really genuine and sincere, for it to work.
Therefore, I don't recommend this trick for guys who have zero tolerance for criticism, and/or are not good actors!

2. Flattery/Compliments test:
O yeah. That too. Some girls may really mean a compliment, while other girls can be as demonic as trying to test you out with something as "harmless" as a compliment. O yeah. Either way, most guys crrrr-uu-mm-ble at this.

Men are terrible recipients of compliments because we are not commonly complimented by women in the society. Therefore, compliments on a man can show how much he really likes and believes in himself. If a man seems grateful, surprised or disarmed because of a well placed compliment, it suggests that he didn't see himself in that light earlier and is as such,  INSECURE. So, don't go thanking/or seem elated when a girl compliments you. Don't also commit the blunder of trying to be "modest" by refusing the compliment. Instead, give a gentle nod, looking unaffected and inexpressive or/and give a light smirk, if the girl put in a great effort to be nice. This shows that you don't think she's saying anything new. Much like how confident girls handle compliments on their appearance.

3. Unavailability Test:
A girl may try to test your independence and certainty by constantly seeming unavailable: cancelling dates or just not showing up, ignoring calls and messages e.t.c. It may also be that you messed up previously and she just doesn't want you no more. Either way, here's how you reaffirm your own confidence and self assuredness to this girl, and be the superior man she may want to submit to again.

a. Stop contacting her: O yeah. Grow some balls dude. Stop giving her the power to bail out on you and put you down, by ceasing to seek her attention in the first place. If you were not guilty of any major flop and a girl still likes you and is only testing you, ignoring her would get her worried that she may have pushed too hard, and she'd try pulling again. But if then, the girl was pissed by you and has lost interest, ignoring her serves yet another purpose: helping you preserve whatever is left of your dignity. This makes sense because when a girl loses interest, there is usually little or nothing you can do to regain it after trying to work things out and she refuses. Therefore, ignoring her after trying reasonably to fix things saves you from further putting yourself beneath her by begging and being refused by her. That's too much power to allow a woman!

b. Breakup with her: This is quite similar to the previous counter. The only tiny difference being that you actually announce that you are ending the relationship. You ace this counter by mentioning that you are breaking up because of her unavailability. Say this like you've made up your mind and not like there's a magic word you want her to say to try and change your mind. Be clear, forthright, and don't linger man. Leave!

Then watch her try to make things work, if she cares. 

But don't be fooled again!

If the girl's like: "Ok. What do you want?" 

Don't flip yet. Cos while this may mean she still wants you, it could equally mean that she's got the ego and doesn't want you to be doing the breaking up, but her.

 "What do you want?" suggests that she doesn't yet fully see herself as in the wrong, but that you're the problem, for "wanting" something different. So, if she asks what you want, don't go: "Oh my, about time. You never give me a hug when we see, you don't reply my messages soon enough, you sleep off while we watch my fav football team play,! bla bla and bla." Cos if you do, you just spilled all your insecurities and neediness in all its glory. Meanwhile, she hasn't even apologised or acknowledged her fault.

Therefore, if she goes: "ok, what do you want? Without 1st apologizing or tryna make things right? Just tell her you want NOTHING but for her to do the right things. Yeah. That's tha abracadabra. If she's like: "Ok fine" Fullstop. Then know you just lost a girl who never cared, while saving yourself the mockery of a counter breakup and your dignity. Score.👍👌

But if she's like: "so, why do you want a breakup then?  What did I do wrong then?  Bam! You scored big and are cooking now💪. The point is wait until she agrees to being wrong, since no girl who only wants you as an ego-booster would admit to being wrong, and ask how to make amends. It would only mean she loves you! So only lay her shortcomings bare when she admits to being wrong, cos only love can make a girl leave herself so vulnerable to you. 

4. Jealousy Test:
You probably knew that if I knew what the hell I was saying, then sooner than later, this point should be mentioned. Hooray.
Well, this doesn't require an essay to explain. A girl may/may not be testing how long an emotional fuse you have, if she seems to be trying to pit you against your "rivals," by mentioning guys who are hitting on her, whom she's dated or seeming "too" attached to other guys. A girl may not be testing you(especially when she does the first two jealousy tests,) but may be doing that because she feels committed and close to you, and doesn't want to hide things or because she doesn't see you as a potential date [yet]. Whatever the case, here's what to do:

a. Listen to her with interest and without the least trace of annoyance.

b. Bring up discussions based on her and the others: This is very effective, if you seem to be thrilled by talks about her exes or suitors.

c. Ask to meet her guys: O no. Not like:

Source:theshiznit

Show me that swine let me tear him apart!!!

Seem like you find her guys cool and would want to meet them. This tactic is deadly as it is revealing. If the girl was only tryna to test you, chances are that she'd exaggerate her experience with the guys. Therefore, she will be skeptical about arranging a meeting  between you and them, for fear that you will find the truth.

If also, she wasn't testing you, but really trying to be closer, or doesn't even want to date you, all the above counters will earn her added respect and feeling of closeness to you, for your rare understanding and support. That's a big plus if you ain't greedy. Right?

5. Favours Test: This is another subtle and as such deadly test. But like all others, it may or not be a test. Meaning the girl may really need your help or just wants to know if you'd do as she says. Whatever the reason, when a girl asks you a favour(huge or small,) especially when you barely know each other, a good way to come across as a charming and dateable guy and not just any regular other guy, is to maintain your superiority. "Why? How?" You may ask.

a. Clearly refuse and don't do it: This is mostly when you barely know a girl and she asks a huge favour like, asks you to help her house a relative or friend.

b. Delay: This shows that you operate by your own rules and cannot be controlled/influenced by anyone. This should be used when she asks small favours that can easily be done by her or others. Don't do this for utterly urgent(life and death matters!) Act like you were contemplating whether or not to do it. Just do it with humour, or you may seem greedy or heartless(especially to confident girls) For example, a pretty girl in class, asks for a note. Other guys would instantaneously offer a note and more even before she's done asking. That's why they're other guys! You are a charmmaker goddamnit! By slightly playfully seeming like you are contemplating granting her request, you show that you play by your own rules and don't accept the control of others. Not even a pretty girl like her!

 source:uadreams

b. Give her conditions: Of course I don't mean a condition like that she gets in your bed. Give conditions that she will easily accept. It could be something as easy as having her promise to return your note intact, or slightly hard like having her promise to give you her note or another equally valuable thing of hers, in return. This tactic works both when a girl asks small and huge favours.

6. Threats Test: A girl may use threats on her guy for two reasons. (1)He's pissed her so much and so often, that she's made up her mind to hurt or get back at him in the way she theeatens to. E.g breakup. (2)She doesn't really mean it, but is really inseure and merely wants an ego boost when he comes begging. Either way, the worst thing to do when a girl threatens you is say: "ok," "alright," "fine" or any other words that suggest you are fine by it, especially if you are really not also sick of relationship, but think that your feigned indifference will change her mind. Not yet. Why?

Suppose the girl meant the threat, and was really going to breakup with you because you are a major flop. Do you think an "ok" from you'd change her mind? Hell no.

Also, for a girl who made such a threat for nothing but her own insecurity, acting like you're fine with it, won't make her come begging later, because her insecurity won't let her.

Here's what to do first instead.

a. Ask her "why":
That's the magic word that'll first let you know the reason for her threats, so as to better know how to counter.

If the girl has really had it up to here with you, when you ask her why she's leaving, she'd immediately and emotionally(maybe crying, screaming while speaking or being too incoherent to speak and/or leaving as emotions begin to spill) make a list of reasons why you're just not worth it.

If though she was only testing you and is insecure, when you ask her why she's leaving, she'd either take a little longer before listing her reasons(because they are really fabrications) and/or seem really calm, collected and comported as she lists whatever reasons she may have come up with. The truth is that no girl ever handles a breakup calmly and emotionlessly. Even if she seems so, at first, making her talk about it and keeping her there, will make her break at some point, if she's really been hurt by you. That's exactly what the question: "why" does!

b. Fix Things:
 If you find that you have been a jerk with your girl, empathetically say you are sorry and mean it. Admit all her claims and promise to be a better Joe. Forget all the typical alpha male stereotypical gibberish sold out there. There's nothing demeaning about saying "i'm sorry" when wrong.

If you also discover that your girl's really an insecure girl, then don't beg but tell her her reasons are not enough reason for you to consent a breakup. Then demand or even command she stays because it is only over when you say it is. This approach is sooo tantalizing for insecure girls because they are crazy about guys who never bow to them, are blunt with them and always want to be in control. Using the above aor a similar line, you manage to be all this, while still showing your interest in her without allowing her too much power. Bingo!! Trying to be well mannered and courteous doesn't work on these girls.